Saying that he wanted to “finally give something back” to his university community, aspiring snowboardist and self-employed bikini inspector Chad Chadson has decided to let other students in on his brilliant laundry hack.

“Laundry takes time, brah,” says Chad as he shakes off his flip-flops and designer sunglasses, “And time is money.”

Chad says that his hack is incredibly easy to master. All you need to do is throw your dirty clothes in a bag, leave the bag by the door of your house or bedroom, and his mother will simply come by and pick it up.

“Your clothes will be back the next day, brah. Never fails,” Chad confirmed.

Chad says it was his brush with a near-failing grade that really opened his eyes to the suffering of others. “I don’t know brah, it’s like there’s so many people in the world, and like, some of them don’t even have parents. I just thought, well that’s probably why some people smell because they can’t ever get their laundry done. I realized the solution was right at my fingertips.”

A true humanitarian, Chad is giving his laundry hack away for the low price of $10 a bag. A fee which he plans to donate to his burgeoning snowboarding career.  

We reached out to Chad’s mother for comment, who appeared at her front door covered in lint with a stranger’s boxer briefs around her ankle.

“He’s always been a boy that puts others before himself. I’m so proud of him.”


This article was written for Chainsaw by Greg Johnson